


kiss me, i'm panicking

by wordsandwickedthings



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and they were ROOMMATES, kind of pov baz, pennys great, simon is a stressed baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-01 13:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14521446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsandwickedthings/pseuds/wordsandwickedthings
Summary: Baz hasn't slept a wink all night, because a certain golden boy is stressed about his exam (or stressed about everything) and had every light in the room on studying. Turns out a half-delirious vampire and a pent-up chosen one doesn't mix well together. or maybe it does?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> one day I'll learn how to write a damn summary, today is apparently not that day.

Baz was growing more and more frustrated by the minute. 

The electric clock on the nightstand next to his head was flashing 2 am, and Baz had not slept at all. The reason for that was right across from him, sitting on his bed surrounded by textbooks and chicken scratch notes. He was starting to forget what Snow’s face looked like before it was contorted in a confused frown over a book. Baz had left the Golden boy in this state to go to football practice hours ago and when he came back he was still there – just staring at the textbook with a pained look. 

The raven-haired boy had studied too after practice; the difference being Baz had wrapped up at the modest time of 9 pm, a sentiment the chosen one didn’t seem to want to repay. 

“I can smell your brain frying from here.” He didn’t mean to say that out loud, but his sleep deprived brain didn’t seem to get the memo. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Baz could see Snow flinch, obviously not expecting him to speak. The vampire lets out a groan, sitting up so he could see the golden-haired boy clearly. Though, given Snows state, that might not be a great thing. 

Snow frowned, “I thought you were asleep.” 

Sometime during the night when Baz’s eyes were closed Snow had discarded his nightshirt leaving him in only a loose pair of sweatpants that Baz had never seen before, so now the other boy could see the splatter of freckles across his chest and arms.

Baz really hoped he looked like he was breathing. 

“kind of hard to do that while every single fucking light is on,” he said and if Snow asked, the tremor in his voice was because of the lack of sleep. 

The other boy looked up for the first time, his blue eyes hazy, “sorry, give me a moment and I’ll turn it off.” 

This startled Baz, “you’re apologizing to me? Are you feeling okay.” The vampire was tempted to put his hand on the floor to see if he could feel hell freezing over. 

Snow made a noise in the back of his throat, head still buried in a book. 

Well, Baz was beginning to feel a bit concerned. “You really are worried about exams, aren’t you?”

The golden boy’s head shot up, frowning again, “what do you care?” 

“you’re spending all your time with your head in a book,” he said, “as your nemesis, I’m feeling a bit neglected.” His voice dripped with sarcasm, hoping Snow didn’t see any truth hidden in it. 

Simon Snow actually snorted. “Poor Baz.”

Baz was getting tired of these circling conversation, or maybe he was just tired in general. “I’m serious, you’ve never worried about a test like this before.” 

The boy across the room slumped, a frustrated blush spreading on his cheeks. “because I’m usually worrying about not being murdered!” he practically yelled, “because I’m usually worried about not being murdered, or kidnapped, or letting the mage down, or trying to prove to the people that hate me that there’s a reason I am the chosen one! So, I never have time to study, making my grades shit – but I’m being told my entire future is mapped out for me, so it doesn’t even matter, but I still care. So, when I’m not being hunted by this ominous fucking thing, I’m revising till my eyes burn, so my social life is dead, and I never get to see my best friend outside of near-death experiences and I’ve never even been fucking kissed because I never have time alone with my girlfriend who I don’t even think I love anymore!”

Snow’s chest was heaving after the speech, eyes burrowing into Baz’s grey ones, turning red and puffy. Baz hopped he didn’t cry – Baz was bad with criers. 

“So, forgive me.” oh, Baz thought, he’s not done. “if I don’t have time to fallow you around and accuse you of things I already know you’re doing!”  
The vampire waited to see if he was actually done this time. “Feel better now?” 

“Yes – no – I don’t know!” 

Baz stood up, stretching his aching muscles, “you’re a tragic chosen one Simon Snow.” He moved over to Snow’s side of the room as the boy gawked up at him.  
Snow sputtered, “this is why I don’t tell you things.” 

The vampire stared at him for a long moment before chuckling. “Your problem, miracle boy, is that you're convinced you have to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders. No one asked you to do that.” 

“But-”

“Nope, my turn now,” Baz puts his hands up, “you do not have to be the best at everything; in fact, you can suck at stuff, there’s no shame in that.” 

Snow had shrunk into himself during this, wrapped up in his own arms. “what about my nonexistent social life.” He whispered.

Maybe it was because Baz was in a state of delirium, or that Snow was looking up at him in a state of shock that did something funny to Baz’s insides, but he answers this question by bringing his mouth down to Simons. 

Pressing firmly against the freckled boy’s mouth, Baz knew that Snow wasn’t going to return the kiss, but his mouth had parted in surprise, so the black-haired boy could slot his lips around Snows bottom one. 

When he pulled away Snow’s eyes were closed. Baz was going to pass out.

“one less thing to worry about,” he whispered, forcing himself not to kiss the dumb boy again. Turning on his heels he goes back to his bed, “now turn off the fucking light, its nearly 3 in the morning.” 

Turns out confusing someone was the way to get them to listen to you because moments after Baz’s head hit the pillow the lights went out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baz and Simon have been avoiding each other since 'the incident' and Penelope is sick of it.

Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch was not afraid to admit he was a coward.

He didn’t think he could deny that cowardice when he was hiding behind a towering bookshelf in the library, ducking lower when he caught a glimpse of gold. Simon Snow had reduced him to a deer spooked just by walking into a room.

It had been a week since Snow had screamed at Baz about what scared him, and Baz returned this outburst with a kiss. A kiss neither boy had spoken about in a week; in fact, they hadn’t spoken at all since then. That was mostly (unequivocally) Baz’s fault because every time the other boy got within 100 feet of him he dashed. He got up at the crack of dawn to be out the door before Snow was even conscious, wouldn’t make eye contact in class or the great hall, and would go near the dorms until it was so late he knew the golden-haired boy would be asleep.

Snow was seeming to share the same sentiment as Baz, being just as reluctant to be in the same room with the other boy. Though the vampire didn’t know how he felt about that.

Turns out avoiding your worst enemy wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be.  

That’s how he got here, hiding among books that probably hadn’t been touched in years, all covered in a thin layer of dust.

All because of a stupid, half delirious kiss; A kiss that was haunting Baz every time he closed his eye, infiltration every part of his head until he couldn’t look at the other boy without forcing himself not to repeat that night’s actions. He still isn’t quite sure why he did it, sure, he had wanted to kiss Snow since he was a pre-teen, but he didn’t think he actually would – they were arch nemesis’ after all, it was unprofessional. 

Snow was being dragged around by Bunce while she looked for some book, and Baz’s heart sped up when she pulled him over to where the vampire was hiding out.

He pulled a random book in the hopes he could bury his head deep enough they wouldn’t see him.

“uh, Baz?” he wasn’t that lucky apparently.

Peeking up over the edge of the book, he saw bunch standing at the beginning of the aisle, a shit-eating grin on her face and a tall, freckled boy who was trying to get out of her vise grip on his hand. Baz’s face must have been as dumbfounded as he felt because Bunch’s grin only grew wider.

“whatcha – whatcha doing?” Bunce started swinging her and Snows joined hands, enjoying the two boys’ agony far too much.

Baz’s mouth seemed to go dry when Simon made eye contact with him, “I-” he falters, “I’m reading, we are in a library.”

“you’re holding the book inches from your face.”

Baz shrugged, trying to pull together the cool, detached persona he’d worked years to cultivate, “I think I may need glasses.”

Bunch nodded, her lips pursed in a way Baz knew she didn’t believe him, “it’s not in English.”

“ _Penelope._ ” The chosen one actually fucking pleaded, tugging at her in a pointless effort to get away.

Baz looked down, and she was right, the title of the book resting in his hands was writing in Bengali – a language he did not know. Great.

He looked back at the grinning mage and her captive, “you know us aristocrats, well versed us folk.”

“mm,” bunch hummed, “anyways, Simon, can you grab me Chander Pahar off the top shelf? I’m going to talk to the librarian.”

“the what-” She proceeded to shove Snow towards Baz and runoff.

Oh, Baz thought, this was why he was going to kill Bunce – he always thought it would be because she was trying to kill him. Baz looked back towards the stiff boy, maybe she was.

Snow’s cheeks were turning pink, shifting from foot to foot as he refused to look at Baz. This angered the boy, he knew all of this awkwardness was his fault, but the fact Simon couldn’t even look at him was getting under his skin in a way he didn’t know possible. Leave it up to the fucking miracle boy to find new ways to piss him off.

Baz scoffs, moving past him to leave the aisle, his nerves on fire.

A hand came around his forearm, stopping him from leaving; when he turned back, Snow was looking at him finally, his lower lip tucked between his teeth.

They stared at each other for what felt like a century in Baz’s anxiety-ridden mind. “You’re avoiding me,” the golden boy finally said.

“acute observation as always, chosen one.” Baz tried to pull out of Simon’s grip, but the other boy didn’t let up. He sighed, “you’re avoiding me, too.”

Snow shook his head frantically, “no I’m not.”

Baz laughs, “Bunce had to practically throw you at me.”

“I – I mean maybe I was being – but you know you were the one who – I just.”

The vampire finally got out of Snow’s hand, shifting to leave – maybe crawl under his bed and stay there forever.

“wait!” the other boy yelled, Baz complied leaning against the bookshelf with his arms crossed. Snow swallowed, “why’d you kiss me?” this caught Baz off guard, and he was so glad he didn’t physically flinch. Snow was looking at him so intently Baz thought his legs were going to give out.

“I,” his brow furrowed, “I guess I wanted to.”

“You guess?”

“I don’t know,” He shrugged, “I hadn’t had any sleep and you were yelling, and you looked all defeated and shit.”

Snow wrinkled his nose, “you want to kiss me when I’m having a crisis?”

Baz smirked, “you always guessed I was deprived.”

“so that’s it, you kissed me because I was freaking out. And what? You thought it would be funny to confuse me like that?” Snow was practically growling, moving so their faces were so close Baz could feel the others boy’s breath on his skin.

“what? No.” he stuttered.

“then what, Baz? Was it because you were sleep deprived? There has to be a reason you did that.”

“I always want to kiss you, you asshat.” Baz’s eyes went wide at his own confession.

Baz locked his jaw, he always assumed hell would have more flames.

Simon froze, the frown still on his face – Baz didn’t mean to say that, Aleister Crowley, he didn’t think he was breathing.

Baz tried to swallow the lump in his throat, oh well – fuck it. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since we were 15. A part of me is convinced I wanted to before that, but I was a bit too preoccupied to think about things like that.”

He waited for Snow to shove him away, to tell him that he’s not like that, maybe even call him something profane that he had been storing in the week Baz had ignored him.

He waited, and waited, and waited.

And then Snow digging his fingernails into Baz’s biceps, pushing him further into the bookshelf so the shelves digging into Baz’s back. He didn’t strike Snow as the violent type, but he braced for a punch anyways.

Instead, though, Snow crashed his lips against Baz’s, pressing him further into the shelf. Snow's lips were firm against his own and Baz’s shock melted into responding, kissing him back with as much force as Snow. He fisted his hands into Snow's shirt – needing something to anchor himself with – tugging him forward as Snow moved to curl his hands in Baz’s hair. For only being kissed once, Snow was a quick study, moving his lips against Baz’s perfectly.

Snow was a hell of a kisser.

Simon, he should probably call him Simon when they were kissing each other like this.

The chosen one pulled away for air too soon for Baz’s liking, letting his hands move from Baz’s hair to his neck, having that intense look on his face again. The raven-haired boy forced down a whimper.

“We need to talk about this,” Simon whispers, his nose bumping against Baz’s.

“We will,” Baz promised, “later.” He pulled the freckled boy back for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you demanded, I supplied... yay economics

**Author's Note:**

> I have a part two idea for this but I'm not sure if I'm going through with it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.


End file.
